Not for nothing, but seeing this graphic puts me in mind of a grim reprise of the beyond ancient “horse walks into a bar” trope. Only now when the bartender asks, “why the long face?” the reply is: “I’m a CMO.”

No question s/he or other has cause: as Adweek reports (thanks to Rob Schwartz for the first share), it would seem the lifespan of a chief marketer is starting to bear an eerie resemblance to a gnat.  

A long-lived gnat, to be sure, but still far from the length of service that used to be mandatory.

My take: it’s bad news and portending worse. At least, it is from adland’s narrow precincts.

The reason: pretending anyone can deeply understand, much less significantly impact a large and complex business with b’s if not t’s in revenues in 3-years-plus-a-lonely-month is laughable. 

Let me repeat that with an added note that I don’t care how super smart the person is or how much experience they bring.

Battleships don’t turn that fast.

And getting the brand word from the top of the pyramid down to that make-or-break-the-customer-coming-back person on the sales floor, not gonna happen just like that. 

Instead, what you wind up with are transitory ephemera, more lipstick on the pig than profits in the bank. 

And then, because fecal matter always slides downhill, the squishy winds up in the pockets of those charged with executing against the given direction—with predictably unsatisfying results.

Come to think of it, you wind up with exactly what we have today: an entire advertising industry addicted to one-offs and stunts, instead of long-term brand resonance.

Now, this isn’t to say you can’t gin up brilliance quickly - great CMOs, like all great creatives, have that skill.

Nor is it always true that you can’t make progress without a long runway: In startups everyone’s figuring it out from day one; institutional memory consists of recalling the bagel flavor you had at last Tuesdays’ all-hands. 

But those are exceptions in exceptional circumstances. As a data point of one, I can attest that the best top marketers I’ve ever worked with all got better, more inventive, and more effective with the time to think, reflect, experiment, investigate, and, you bet, motivate.

BTDubs: much as it might appear otherwise to the cynical, this really isn’t to suck up to thems with hiring authority. Like everyone else with any kind time on track, I’ve ridden the wrong horse on the “new CMO, new agency” not-so-merry-go-round way too often—sympathy is, shall we say, constrained.

But this really isn’t about anything personal except for the conviction that when we demote these jobs to passers-by in the night, we devalue and undermine the role.  And that’s no damned good for any of us.  

Or the brands they’re meant to be building.

P.S. Think I’m a kiss ass suckup? Do share.